Coming out as a mature lesbian

It is common for lesbians to realize their sexuality and come out whilst in their teenage years or early 20s. However, you may find it surprising to hear it is not unusual for women to come out much later in life. and many women come out as lesbian or bisexual in their 40s, 50s and 60s, or even later in life.

People who are reaching their 60s now grew up in a time when there was much more stigma attached to being gay than there is now. Gay and lesbian relationships were a taboo subject and rarely talked about. It is possible that you never even considered you could have a relationship with another woman because it just wasn't the done thing in those times.

Quite often women have been attracted to the same sex but suppressed their feelings. Getting married, having children and staying with their husbands for the sake of the children, or even because the thought of leaving was too scary a prospect.

Women who come out later in life may look back and realize they were probably gay all along. You may remember having attractions to female friends in your past that you wrote off at the time. A tell-tale sign is preferring the company of women and never really enjoying sex with men. For some, falling in love with a woman may come as a shock. It may be that you had good relationships with men all along, enjoyed sex with men and raised a family. Then all of a sudden, you find yourself being attracted sexually to women, or you find yourself in love with a friend.

By Georgina Williams - October 2010